The Home Stretch

So here I am in the home stretch, only a week to go in my single life.

A lot of people seem to find it very hard to believe that we've actually got most of the wedding details under control. But we do! Most of the major things are taken care of. The photographer is confirmed. The catering is ready (just need to contact Lopiano's with a head count). We have a marriage license. We've met with the church coordinators who will be on hand to help us out next Sunday. We've reserved a section at Beujo's for the rehearsal dinner. We've ordered the reception cakes. All in all, we're doing pretty well.

I think the thing that makes me most nervous is the total paradigm shift that I'll be taking on. It sounds kind of silly to say out loud, but I've never been married before. There are expectations of how my job, my home, my finances, my future plans, and so forth are supposed to work. That's going to be completely different once Kate is my wife and living with me.

Don't get me wrong! I love Kate and want desparately to marry her. Nothing is ever going to change that. It'll just be so different with her as a constant part of my life. I have no doubt that it will be wonderful, but it will also be very different.

It's hard to put into words precisely. Kate and I have talked about our anxiety about marriage. (Note: I said anxiety for MARRIAGE, not the WEDDING. That'll be a snap!) We continue to realize how aspects of our lives will change once we're married. For example, I can no longer spend money like I used to. It's not my money anymore...it's OUR money. We'll have to learn to talk with each other any time we think we need to make a serious purchase. (No more frivilous spending on XBox games for me!) Heck, even the idea of privacy will be radically changed! There will no longer be aspects of my life that are known only to me. From here on out, there will be a sharing between Kate and myself that I don't think I've experienced since I was a child.

There's an excitement too though, one that overwhelms the fear. I want Kate with me all the rest of my days and I can't imagine how I ever could have gotten along without her. She is my new purpose in life. She is my drive and my will to live and succeed. I want to make myself an even better man than I am because I believe she deserves the best. I look forward to spending the rest of my life learning how to make her happy.

For me now, there is no greater purpose in life. It all revolves around her and the fact that she is mine.