On Monday December 14th, 2009 at 6:49am, Kate and I welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. Her full name is Teresa Claire...though we plan on calling her Tessa. Her birth was easily the most wonderful thing that I have ever had the privilege of witnessing. Her addition to our home truly makes us a real family...and I for one count myself as immensely blessed.
When I got home from hanging out with my hoodlum friends on Saturday night, Kate mentioned that she was feeling something that could be contractions. We noticed that her belly got very tight when she felt these contractions...but we didn't want to jump the gun just yet. Instead, we decided that we would go to bed as planned and just see how the contractions progressed through the night. This was especially because at the time the contractions were very irregular and spaced pretty far apart. We were hopeful that this was Early Labor and that we would soon be entering the downhill slope toward childbirth.
The night was rough - the pain of the contractions got to the point that Kate was having trouble sleeping (which is saying something!). We got ourselves out of bed (having had minimal sleep) around 6am to start timing the contractions. After about an hour, we were fairly certain that they were regular enough to warrant a call to our midwife.
As it turns out, the midwife on duty (Dian) was already at Poudre Valley Hospital, having finished delivering someone else's baby the previous night. There was a little trouble getting in touch with her but when we finally got her on the phone, she wasn't absolutely sure if Kate was needing to come into the hospital yet. She instead suggested that we meet her at the Womancare clinic so she could give Kate a physical examination and make a judgment call at that time.
At the clinic, Dian told us that the baby's head was very low (the +2 position), meaning that we were well on our way toward the baby's birth. However, Kate's cervix (think of it as the exit door to the womb) was positioned behind the baby's head. That meant that the baby was pushing against the wall of the womb but wasn't putting any pressure where she should be. Dian suggested that we head home and try a few techniques to get things adjusted inside Kate. She also said to call if things got really strong; otherwise, she would check in with us at noon.
At home, Kate tried several different positions, always breathing, trying to get her interior adjusted properly. We discovered that a hot bath did wonders for helping her withstand the pain of the contractions...and she was even able to doze off for a half hour or so. By the time Dian called us at noon, though, the pain of the contractions was to the point that Kate was having some trouble walking and talking. I was really ready to take her to the hospital...if only so that there would be some professionals to help us evaluate what was happening inside her. Dian agreed and called ahead to have a birthing room ready for us.
We drove down to the PVH with our pre-packed labor bags and headed up to the birthing center. The nurses were expecting us and ushered us into our room...which we were glad to see came with its own jacuzzi-bathtub. The nurse (Patty) hooked Kate up to some monitors which let us see the baby's heart rate and the strength and pattern of Kate's contractions. We were glad to see that the baby was perfectly calm inside of Kate, even during the worst of the contractions. However, little progress had been made in shifting Kate's cervix around to the proper position.
A few hours passed, with Kate walking about, trying out different positions, soaking for almost an hour in the jacuzzi, and doing wonderful with her breathing techniques. I tried to stay close to her at all times, offering encouraging words or touches. To my surprise and disorientation, at some points during her contractions, Kate did not want me to touch her! This was jarring as in the past my touch has always been enough to calm Kate down. She would explain to me later that her body felt so under pressure that even my lightest touch felt like a lead weight on her body. She never snapped at me or anything...and made it very clear that she still wanted me nearby...but I only rarely tried touching or holding her.
Early into the evening, Dian reported that the cervix had finally moved into a good position. Now we would need to hope that the contractions would start putting pressure on it and force it to dilate properly. Kate was at about 1-2cm around Sunday evening. The nurse (Brittany this time and later Dorothy) and Dian left us alone to try to get some sleep and to let Kate's body do its thing, stopping in every now and again to check the baby's heartbeat.
Kate and I didn't get much sleep. The contractions were enough that Kate only managed some real rest when she was in the hot water bath. I managed an hour late into the night...but the adrenaline really didn't let me relax. I did partake in the complimentary room service that the hospital provided, ordering up a burrito with green chili for dinner. That was the first real meal I'd had since about 9am that morning. Kate of course wasn't hungry at all, though we did manage to get some smoothie and a strawberry milkshake into her system. In the meanwhile, she was drinking about two or three cups of water every hour. That was one of my jobs...to make sure she had plenty of water to keep her hydrated.
Around midnight, we discovered that after four or five hours, Kate had only dilated about 1 or 2 centimeters. This was distressing as we had been hoping for more progress than that. Everything seemed to be taking forever! Dian was very calm and told us that we had a couple of options. First, we could keep doing things naturally and see if Kate would dilate normally...though the current rate of progress indicated that this could potentially take another twenty four hours to get to the serious part of Active Labor. Second, Dian could manually break Kate's water, which would very quickly kick her labor into high gear. Dian warned that while this would speed things up, it would also mean a lot of pain in a short time.
Kate and I chose to stall a bit. We continued to have Kate soak in hot water, try different positions, and so forth to see if we could get things happening on our own. Sadly, after about an hour or two, Kate had only progressed about half a centimeter. Knowing that another day of this kind of work could leave Kate too exhausted when it came time to push, we opted to have Dian manually break Kate's water. We did have the option of having Kate take some narcotics to let her sleep and regain some strength, but we couldn't be sure if that would really help...and it still meant a longer period of Active Labor.
The breaking of Kate's water was pretty straight forward; it didn't even cause her any discomfort. As Dian predicted, Kate's contractions started getting extremely strong and steady. The pattern was obvious and she did get a few minutes to catch her breath between them. (Before this, Kate might have a strong contraction but it wouldn't fully go away, leaving her with a dull and constant pain for hours that would occasionally spike with a contraction.)
Kate was amazing. She kept moving. She kept drinking water. She kept up her breathing. She tried standing and swaying during contractions. She lay on her side during some of them. She did at least one more hot water soak. After just a couple of hours, Dian reported that Kate had made great progress, dilating to around 7cm in that time.
It wasn't too long after that when Kate said she was starting to feel the urge to push. Within an hour of Dian's last check, we were getting Kate onto the bed and into a good pushing position. Kate ended up pushing for close to four hours! This was the hardest thing for me to watch because it was so obviously painful for Kate. But when I saw the very top of the baby's head, I doubled my encouragement to her. I know that she was getting frustrated with our constant declarations of "I can see the baby's head! You're almost there!" For her, it was as if we were lying or that she wasn't getting anywhere. She was being hampered by the cycle of contractions - she would have a good strong one then a long gap before a fairly weak one...and then it would repeat. It was hard for her to make real progress for a while.
After a couple of changes of position, Kate started to get the hang of pushing. The main issue was that she would push hard, then take several gulps of air...which somehow drew the baby back inside a bit. She soon learned how to just grab a big breath and push again. It seemed like Kate would be pushing forever (and had been pushing forever) when suddenly...and I do mean suddenly...there was the baby!
As a side note, I should say that my first inclination was not to watch the actual birth of the baby. But when it started to happen, something came over me...and I had to watch. I'm glad I did because, as I said above, it was the most amazing thing. It was a miracle actually happening before my eyes. I'm never going to forget it.
Dian immediately placed the baby on Kate's belly...and the look on my wife face at the moment - all gasping and laughing and almost crying - was almost as amazing as the actual birth. The nurse Dorothy told me that I could check the gender of the baby and we found out that we had a beautiful, healthy little girl! Kate asked me which of our name ideas I wanted to use and that's when we chose Teresa Claire...or Tessa for short.
Tessa was immediately hungry and so Kate (with some help from Dorothy) started to nurse. Meanwhile, Dian had me cut the cord - another thing that I wasn't sure I wanted to do until that very moment. There was also a good deal of blood and Dian was soon calling in a couple of extra nurses. As it turned out, there was still some pieces of membrane that were still stuck inside of Kate so Dian had a doctor (wish I could remember her name) come in to 'clean out' the stuck pieces. There was also a small bit of tearing so Dian added a few stitches to finish Kate up.
While Dian and the others were working on Kate, I remember thanking God that Tessa had arrived safely and praying that I wouldn't lose Kate at this point either. Turns out I shouldn't have worried as Kate was in excellent hands. In truth, it all looked worse than it probably was.
Tessa was measured and checked and got her first bath (more of a sponge-bath) from the nursery nurses. She weighed in at 7 pounds and 6 ounces, which was a great weight. Kate was expecting a bigger baby given our family histories. Tessa also measured 19 3/4 inches long...so all in all, a really good size!
Once Kate was cleaned up and resting comfortably and all the initial checks were done on Tessa, Dian and the nurses left me and Kate alone for a little while to give us time to bond with our new daughter. I don't mind admitting that at this point the enormity of what we had been given finally hit me. Combined with the physical and mental exhaustion, I simply broke down and wept. I told Kate that I was so proud of her and amazed by what God had given us. I told her that I was terrified of the responsibility that we now bore. I almost couldn't believe how beautiful our daughter was. Bless her, Kate just held us both and told me that she had absolute faith in our ability as parents...and that God would never give us a burden that He didn't think we could shoulder.
After a couple more hours and a few more checkups, Kate and I were transferred to the recovery ward. I remember that the first thing I noticed was that our new room had a window; I hadn't realized how long I had gone without sunlight until just then. We settled in and a series of very friendly nurses came by to take care of us. It was at this point that I started trying to make phone calls and emails to friends and family to announce the good news.
Kate's appetite was back in force within a few hours of the delivery. Fortunately, the PVH cafeteria has some excellent options for the room service...and there was even a special menu for new mothers and fathers. We could both have a 'gourmet' meal on the house. Kate ended up devouring a generous lobster and steak plate while I had a stuffed chicken and rice meal. I ducked out that afternoon to tend to the cats at home (it's nice to live only five minutes from the hospital!) but came back to stay the night with Kate and Tessa.
That first night was a little rough. Tessa cried for a while and refused to be consoled. Kate and I were so tired that we were at our wit's end and actually called the nurse for help. The nurse swaddled Tessa up tight and held her a short while...and Tessa calmed right down. Or at least enough that Kate and I managed a reasonably decent night's sleep.
We checked out of the hospital the next day. Our intention was to check out in the early afternoon...but a mis-communication with our family practitioner's office delaying our doctor from visiting. Dr Kauffman came rushing in around 6pm, apologizing for the delay, and gave Tessa her final checkup. After getting the thumbs-up, we took our baby home.
At this point, we're still getting used to Tessa's habits and patterns...and I think she's getting used to ours. We were fortunate to have Kate's Dad Brendan visiting for that first week to fix us dinner and generally take care of anything we needed. By the end of the week, we felt fit enough to start making the rounds of local friends and show off the wondrous creation we made. (Although we've since been instructed by Dian to have Kate take it easy a bit more!)
I continue to be surprised at how natural it's become to care for Tessa. It's hard for me to imagine a time that I was cautious and frightened of a little infant. She's easy to carry and hold. Changing diapers and cleaning spit-up doesn't faze me. I figure there must be something pre-programmed in our brains that kicks in when a child arrives, but Kate says that it's because I was meant to be a Daddy. :-)
Looking back - even after just a week or so since her birth - it's already hard to remember the worst aspects of the labor and birth. The joy and love that has filled our home now just pushes all memory of painful ordeal right out the window. We really do consider ourselves blessed to have such a beautiful miracle as part of our lives. I for one intend to spend the rest of my life making sure we deserve her.
Thanks for joining me in welcoming Tessa to the world and to our family!
And as always thank you for reading and I hope you're having a very good day.
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